Not beta read at all :)))))) last part of the sub!Gabe/dom!Lúcio storyline :)))) only took me like a year :))))))))))))) (I like the last part tho :3c)
For the beginning: angst tw, past abuse tw, anxiety attack tw
Part 1 (no real fic just rambling)
Part 2 (no real fic just rambling)
Lúcio stares down at the data stick in his hand, turning it around and around between his fingers. His knee is bouncing nervously. The stick had been in his mail a couple days ago, taped to a little piece of paper.
The fruits of my research – Reinhardt
Behind him, Gabriel is lying on the bed, watching his back quietly. The room is dark, and when Lúcio turns to glance at his submissive, the cold light of the computer screen doesn’t quite reach the other man’s face.
He turns back around and stares at the stick some more. Turns it around and around. It has been haunting him since he pulled it out of the mail, wondering what Reinhardt has dug up about Gabriel.
It takes him a while longer before he finally plugs the stick in and watches the videos his old mentor had found for him.
Gabriel is a ghostly presence at his back. He is not making a sound while Lúcio watches, yet he’s never been as aware of his submissive’s presence in a room as in those nauseating hours.
.oOo.
It hasn’t been as difficult to watch the footage as Gabriel had surmised it might be. He doesn’t identify with the man drugged up to incoherence and made to debase himself for cajoling strangers.
He recognizes himself, vaguely, but most of all he is watching the kid’s reactions.
Lúcio’s leg had bounced restlessly through the first ten minutes, shoulders rigid. Slowly, however, the bounce had stopped in favor of some kind of stupor: the kid sitting more quiet than Gabriel has ever seen him, hands folded in his lap, watching video after video.
.oOo.
Gabriel feels himself walking on eggshells around Lúcio even though he doesn’t need to. He didn’t do anything wrong – there is nothing to apologize anymore, not after he’s got his discipline from his dominant a couple weeks ago.
And yet…
Lúcio has been quiet and withdrawn, youthful face edged into tight, hard lines. He looks angry in a way that makes Gabriel want to lie down on his back and show him his belly – offer up his body for stress relief. The need to be the punching bag is as much trained into him as it is his intrinsic need to be good for his dominant, and it makes him antsy all on its own.
Antsy and angry. Like he should have grown out of that mindless, self-destructive response, especially after watching his pathetic displays captured on video for eternity. Like he learned nothing at all and is doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again without any improvement in sight.
He feels like a lemming that is too… too… too stupid to look after itself, and it makes him want to destroy things.
Himself, first and foremost.
.oOo.
It feels like he is watching himself from the outside, sometimes. Like he is not entirely his own person these days.
He can see himself slipping into his tired, old behavioral patterns that he thought he had shucked off years ago, and it makes him feel… hopeless.
He can’t get out of it; can’t get out of the mindset, the stupid, idiotic need that he make his dominant happy again because he feels like he is the reason Lúcio has stopped laughing every single moment of the day and instead became so quiet it makes Gabriel feel like he has to hurt himself in his anxiety.
He wants the old dynamic back. He wants things to be how they had been before he fucked up. He wants a routine that helps him not being so horribly, horribly stupid.
At work, he’s capable. His colleagues look at him for advice more often than not. They respect him to a T. He is independent.
At home he wants to crawl on his knees towards his dominant and hide his face in his lap. He wants to beg for his hands on him again, but first and foremost he wants to cry – and he can’t do any of this because he’s burned all those bridges in the months he’s lived with Lúcio, hasn’t he?
He’s been an ass every turn of the way, hissing and snapping and growling at his dominant, and he feels like he’s now forfeited every right to seeking solace.
Lúcio is so young, still…
Gabriel is breaking patterns, trying to lift Lúcio’s mood. He sits down close to him, trying to offer himself up, make himself available for touch without Lúcio having to coax him into it. He brings home treats after work. He cleans the apartment.
Most of all, he hovers. He tries to anticipate what his dominant might need. He tries to anticipate when his dominant might decide that what he needs is not him anymore.
He sees himself spiraling out of control, ready to humiliate himself – to do anything just to make things go back the way they were – yet can’t make himself stop.
.o.
“Stop.”
Gabriel jerks to a halt at the door of Lúcio’s studio, staring at him in hopeless confusion, big hands hanging uselessly at his sides. He turns them, showing Lúcio their vulnerable palms for some reason. Like he needs to proof that he has no weapons.
Lúcio is standing at his chair, one hand on the back of it. He’s been ready to sit down when he’s noticed Gabriel traipsing after him again like a lost puppy.
Gabriel feels nauseous, his belly clenched into a tight, hard fist. He’s close to retching, anxiety kicking up a storm; only growing the longer his dominant looks at him with a frown on his face.
“Why are you here?”
Gabriel’s head lowers, shoulders pulling up minimally. He can’t look at Lúcio anymore and instead is staring at his feet. He’s at a loss for words. He feels like crying, but…
but he’s no crybaby.
“Dude, you hate sitting in here while I work. Why are you following me in, then?”
Gabriel’s nose starts running, his eyes are so very wet. He bites his lips and tries to remain quiet because if he makes a sound, he will bawl like a little kid in front of his dominant.
He hears Lúcio’s deep sigh. He moves around – he can see his shadow on the hardwood floor, even if he can’t hear his socked feet.
After a while, there’s the sound of Lúcio sitting down in his chair.
“Come here, babe.”
Gabriel glances up and sees a large, green pillow on the floor, shaped like a frog face. His pillow – the one Lúcio always lets him kneel on when he feels like wrestling his stupidly stubborn ass into compliance.
He presses his mouth into a tight line as he feels his lips tremble and stumbles forward, throwing himself onto the pillow, forehead slamming violently against his dominant’s thigh. He’s breathing quick and loud, wet gasps that make him feel humiliated.
His hair is shorn short enough that he is sure his flush of embarrassment is visible even there.
Lúcio’s soft fingers touch the nape of his neck carefully for a second before he seems to think better of it and clasps a firm hand there, thumb scratching along the line of shorn hair.
Gabriel stares at the hardwood floor, everything swimming in front of his wet eyes.
“Why are you so keyed up?” Lúcio murmurs, his other hand joining to rub firm across the shorn head. Lúcio is maybe half of what Gabriel weighs, but he feels as anchored in this moment as he’s sure he could never achieve on his own.
He groans low and pained as muscles start relaxing that have been cramped for weeks now.
“My poor boy. What are you eating yourself up for? Everything is good.”
Gabriel shakes his head minimally simply to do something; to feel the fabric of Lúcio’s bermuda shorts drag against the skin of his forehead.
Lúcio is silent for a while, the motions of his hands rubbing hypnotically across Gabriel’s head, and slowly incorporating the slope of his shoulders, lulling him to an almost sleep.
At last, he leans down, curling over Gabriel and smothering him in the smell of him. The need to cry like a child has abated somewhat, and his nose is free to take in deep gulps.
Just a month ago he would have tried to squirm his way out of a headlock like this and retreated from the room with an ill-tempered grumble. A month ago, however, he also hadn’t known how precious Lúcio’s disregard for personal boundaries was to him until his dominant wasn’t up in his grill at all times anymore.
“I thought you needed time,” Lúcio murmurs next to Gabriel’s ear, his voice sending shivers down his spine. “I know I needed time. It was a lot to take in, dude. But-” he hesitates and leans up a little; uncurls from the small cocoon he created around Gabriel’s head to grab his head and pull it up, staring into his face with a solemn expression. “It doesn’t change anything between us, all right? I don’t give a shit about what you have done earlier. I… understand better now, though, so maybe it was for the best? I dunno. Damn.”
He groans and lets his head fall back into his neck. his hands are steady around Gabriel’s jaw, keeping him in place with gentle force.
“It was hard seeing you like that,” he says, voice scratchy and a bit forced, and Gabriel realizes with a weird feeling in his belly that he sounds close to tears himself, now. “Knowing something and seeing it are just… dude, it’s hard.”
He falls back into silence for a moment, then looks back down at Gabriel, his face and voice back under control, fingertips slipping up and across Gabriel’s face, forcing him to close his eyes so they can ghost across the lids where they stay and make him sit like that.
“I think it’s as good as any reason for a new beginning,” he murmurs, voice sounding so close and intimate even though he hasn’t moved.
The darkness makes Gabriel squirmy in a good way. A little excited. Aroused. His body relaxes, leaning more heavily into Lúcio’s thigh, and the low chuckle his dominant produces makes him feel like a million dollars. His mouth drops open, and he groans low and wrecked.
“Oh would you look at that?” Lúcio mumbles, “Look how good you’re being for me already… my good boy-o.” Usually he hates it when his dominant calls him that, but this time he is close to drooling, already a bit loopy and into his head, drunk on the affection he felt certain he would never have again.
“You’re already giving me so many ideas to play with you, pretty boy. MMhhh yeah. I got some nice ideas for my submissive. So nice and well-behaved for me.
Stay with me, hm? I want you to kneel for me while I work, Gabriel. Let’s leave that other shit behind us and go forward.”
.oOo.
“You look so pretty in my ropes, babe. Are you comfortable?”
Gabriel grits his teeth, bad temper rising fast as he feels his dominant loosely holding the two ends of the thin green rope together beneath his wrists. He hasn’t even knotted it yet.
“I’ve done this before,” Gabriel spits out, shoulders rigid, staring moodily at the ground. “Get on with it.”
Lúcio hums, his smooth fingertips slowly rubbing along the edges of Gabriel’s hands, and then across his palms. It is sometimes startling for him how soft and unused Lúcio is. The kid is working hard, but not with his hands – not like Gabriel is in the garage.
There are no scars, no callouses on his dominant; just a whole lot of quiet, unyielding strength and endless patience.
Gabriel feels weepy, and that makes him even more antsy. He growls again, choked and a little wet and hunches his shoulders forward, balls his fists…
“No,” Lúcio says, soft but firm, fingers immediately leaving their idle petting of Gabriel’s hands. He grabs his submissive’s shoulder and pulls him back into position. “Spine straight. Stand still, Gabriel.”
And then, when Gabriel doesn’t move a muscle: “Good boy.”
Gabriel squeezes his eyes shut, grinds his teeth, and breathes deeply.
.o.
“Ah man,” Lúcio sighs after a while, taking a step back and observing his work. “You look so pretty like this. Such a good boy, holding still and letting me put you in my ropes. Damn.”
There isn’t much rope, just an intricate criss-cross of bright green holding his forearms together behind his back.
Gabriel keeps quiet, head hanging low as he subtly shifts his hands, rotating his wrists to feel how tight Lúcio had made his rope work. A hand beneath his chin startles him, causing him almost to jerk back as his dominant coaxes his head up and holds it with a firm grip on his jaw.
“There. Like this. Don’t hide, now.”
Gabriel bares his teeth, but there is no real heat in it. When Lúcio thumbs with his free hand at one of his nipples, his jaw falls open on a soft, needy pant, cock lifting a little from between his thighs.
“There you go. Love how responsive you are. Such nice, sensitive tits.”
As Gabriel watches, his dominant turns minimally and fishes for a bandana just as bright green as the ropes binding his arms. He slowly pulls it through his fingers as he watches his submissive with a pensive expression.
Gabriel can’t help but straighten up a bit, chin lifting, chest pushing out. His nipple is still tingling where Lúcio touched it. He is hyper aware of the silver barbell, feeling like it is heavier than usual and putting more pressure onto the sensitive tissue. He is preening, he realises with a weird twist to his stomach, and Lúcio’s face relaxes, warm eyes brightening.
“That’s my boy! Damn, but you’re gorgeous.”
He can feel himself slipping down – not physically but mentally, his attention zeroing in on his dominant, hanging onto his every word; and while he wants this; has always wanted exactly this, a part of him rebels at how quickly he goes under for Lúcio.
Still, when his dominant lifts the bandana with a questioning look, he bends down easily, offering himself up.
Lúcio is murmuring low praise, a constant stream of input as the world around him goes dark, yet still it is… scary. Everything feels that much more significant when he can’t anticipate what is going to come. He jerks and flinches when Lúcio touches his shoulder, and the young man shushes him, grips his bicep with a firm, warm hand.
“Easy, now. Look at you taking everything I give you. I’m going to give you your ball now. You’ll remember to let it drop if something is wrong?”
“Yes, Sir.” He whispers the response, feeling a bit meek, rebelliousness cracking away as he is trapped in darkness, arms immobilized. His head swivels towards Lúcio, tracking every little sound he makes. Moments later he feels a soft ball placed into one of his palms. He curls his fingers around it and holds on for dear life.
“Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Are you scared?”
“No.” And then after a second he ads in a pathetic little whine: “A little.”
His dominant steps close, warm breath fanning across his cheek a moment before he feels a kiss pressed against his beard.
“You don’t need to. I’ve got you. And you have your ball if you need me to stop. Do you want your gag now?”
He breathes deeply, head lowering until his forehead is pressed against Lúcio’s shoulder, subtly sniffing at his skin. His scent is so comforting it almost hurts. Lùcio is hugging him loosely, fingers dancing along a few small scars as he waits for Gabriel to get a grip on himself.
Finally, he nods and rightens himself up once more, mouth obediently opening for his gag.
.o.
Gabriel twists as he feels the warm washcloth slip from the dip of his spine that it had travelled along, down into the cleft of his ass. He slowly manipulates his feet wider, lifting up onto their tips to push his ass into the warmth like a cat.
His dominant hums low and pleased, the fingers inside the washcloth pressing insistently against Gabriel’s hole. There is no intent of trying to slip in – just a possessive press that makes electricity zing from the tips of his toes up into the small of his back.
They move, starting little circling motions over the nervous, fluttering clench of the muscle, and Gabriel groans deep and heartfelt into the gag.
“There you go,” Lúcio murmurs, his other hand landing briefly on the back of Gabriel’s neck to squeeze and press him down a bit more firmly for good measure. Gabriel is leaning across a padded bank, feeling utterly contained in himself and his dominant.
There is nothing to distract him; no obligation to try and figure out what his dominant’s facial expression means, or whether what he is doing could be embarrassing. Just him and the warmth of the washcloth, the rough texture wandering down and leaving a mildly cool trail of wetness behind.
It feels good, cupping his heavy sac. Keeping it nice and warm as his dominant moves his fingers, rolling the full testicles in his palm. Next to it, his cock is hard, throbbing dully in need. The metal pierced along the underside pulls vaguely at the silky skin and makes him hyper aware of the foreskin not quite rolled down the fat head yet.
Lúcio hadn’t touched his cock, but he hopes that if he offers himself up enough, he might consider it.
Gabriel can’t even remember the last time he’s been so fixated on his dominant; the last time he wondered how good he had to be to make him touch his body and coax an orgasm out of him instead of wondering how to debase himself in order to make him happy.
“Are you ready, Gabriel?” Lúcio murmurs, voice pitched low; an amused lilt to it that makes Gabriel nod even before he’s parsed the question. Eager and hopeful, hand clenched around the soft little ball to make sure he wouldn’t lose track of it.
The warm washcloth vanishes, then, seconds before a new sensation engulfs his balls just as gentle and loving, with an equally rough texture. His brain has two false starts, body poised, breath stuck in his throat as what he’s had anticipated doesn’t come true: the washcloth is no longer a nice, toe-curling warmth but cold enough to make everything stutter to a halt.
It is not freezing, but it might as well have been after the delicious warmth of before.
Gabriel howls into his gag, back arching, then going round as he hunches his hips down, trying to get away from the cold.
Lúcio chuckles, warm and commiserating as he puts a hand between Gabriel’s shoulder blades, making sure he stays where he is.
“Good boy… Stay still, now. Yeah. You’re gonna love what I’ve planned for you.”
.o.
Gabriel can’t stay still any longer. He is jumping like a rabbit with its hind legs trapped, bucking and winding as his body shivers out false response after false response. His dominant has long since stopped dutifully alternating the warmth from the cold, and instead uses them at whim, never letting his submissive get too caught up in the moment.
His nipples, pressed against the warmed leather he is leaning on, are painfully tight and sending shocks of pleasure down his spine whenever the piercings roll against the surface.
He is drooling into his gag, blindfold wet with tears of overstimulation. He doesn’t know for sure, but he thinks he might have come already, body pulsing out one or two shivery orgasms, tricked into them by his dominant first cuddling him in warmth before gently rubbing him down again.
Gabriel dreads the next touch as much as he needs it, cock fat and heavy, swinging, wet with water and pre-cum, glans exposed to the cool air of the room. He twists awkwardly, half his body turning away as the other half turns into his dominant, little noises escaping him that sound more like squeaks than anything else.
His hand vaguely hurts, fingers so tightly clenched around the ball, panicked that he might lose it without meaning to.
When Lúcio touches him again, hands settling warm and sure on his hips, Gabriel cries out, head thrown back, brain firing and trying to figure out if the touch is warm or cold, stuttering and retrying until he realizes it is neither, not really – Lúcio has put away the washcloths, and instead is rubbing slow circles into his skin with his thumbs.
“Damn, babe.” He sounds choked, voice raspy. Gabriel is hyper aware of him; feels how his cock is pressing into the back of his thigh, and with a little whimper he realizes how he can feel wetness smearing against the trembling muscle: his dominant is naked. “You’re so out of it, Gabriel. Damn… Drooling like a good boy. Are you with me? Can you hear me?”
He nods frantically, rubbing his cheek against the surface of the bench, mindless and needy, dragging it across the mess of sweat and spit there.
One of his dominant’s hands moves, sliding down his ass and his trembling thigh to keep him notified of where it is going before reaching sure and self-assured between his thighs and taking a hold of his swollen cock.
He wants to cry out, but all he can do is whimper pathetically, holding still in his exhaustion.
Lúcio hums and squeezes him gently, then gives him two long, strokes that frizz his mind and make him gurgle. His smooth, firm fingers rolling against the ladder of barbell piercings, moving them gently beneath the thin, tender skin.
“You have such a lovely cock. It’s been so nice and hard for me the entire time. Such an attentive boy, Gabriel. I wonder…”
He trails off, fingers squeezing just beneath the fat, swollen head, thumb rubbing across the crown and blunt fingernail carefully pressing against the slit there.
Gabriel freezes, halts his breath, then goes lax all over like a puppet with its strings cut. His balls feel too full and tender, swollen to double their size. He feels like a prized breeding bull that’s getting inspected, and still he wants to preen for Lúcio.
“You’ve been so well-behaved, babe. You have earned yourself a treat…”
He moves his hips, pressing his weeping cock against Gabriel’s trembling thigh muscle, and his brain jumps to it, making him babble indistinct with the ball gag still in his mouth, frantic and begging, voice broken and whiney as more tears wet the inside of his blindfold.
“Calm,” Lúcio murmurs low even though his own voice is trembling with excitement, hand letting go of Gabriel’s cock to travel back up and touch his hole, warm and loose and so very ready. “You want my dick, babe? Right here? Have you earned my cock, good boy?”
Yes, yes, yes, God yes, please, please, please, please…
He doesn’t know what sounds he’s made, only that he’s crying openly now, sobbing unabashedly as his nose runs and his cheeks get wet. He loses control over his body and couldn’t care less as his dominant presses kisses against the small of his back and shushes him until the first onslaught of need has rolled through him.
“Yeah, you earned it.”
.o.
His dominant is a lot shorter than him and Gabriel would have tripped over himself to get himself to the right height if he hadn’t stood still already.
As is, he hunches down, head lifted and turned, trying to see whether he is being a good boy even though he is wearing a blindfold. Logic has fled him and all vestiges of fear of being made fun of have let go of him. In their stead the overwhelming need to have his dominant’s cock is eating him up and making him eager like a dog.
Lúcio chuckles and rubs his hips, the small of his back, the swell of his bicep. He shifts and moves closer, and then there’s a blunt, delicious pressure against Gabriel’s hole.
Feeling his dominant slide inside him is better than anything he could have thought up in those feverish, needy nights he spent alone at home, fantasizing of being good enough for Lúcio to earn his cock.
It’s slow and perfect, spreading him open until the muscle burns deep and delicious, insides throbbing and clenching down; hugging the intruder and trying desperately to pull him deeper.
His body is in love with Lúcio and there is no way he could have hidden it even if he wanted to.
His dominant laughs softly, voice cracking, sounding elated to the point of hysteria as he rocks his hips, fucking his submissive for the first time.
“Not gonna last long,” he whimpers, leaning forward, pressing his forehead against Gabriel’s bound forearms.
I know he wants to say I know I know I know, but all he does is gurgle, soft and weak, body trembling, cock flexing as he is getting deep dicked gently, intimately, Lúcio barely moving enough to pull even an inch out.
Like he couldn’t bear the thought of not being inside Gabriel’s warm, suckling body to the very hilt. Like he wanted to crawl into his submissive.
Gabriel imagines that he can feel every vein; can feel the ridge of Lúcio’s cock drag against the spongy, wet insides of his gut.
He knows his dominant’s cock intimately; has spent hours lapping at it, keeping it nice and warm, worshipping it; yet feeling it finally spread him open is making his head spin and cock drool, balls fat and swollen.
He wants to come, wants to come, wants to come so bad. He’s sobbing, bawling openly, shaking and sweating as he curls into his dominant and lets him hold him, a little stiff, a little uncoordinated as his hips jerk into him, fucking him uneducated and enthusiastic like the young man he is.
“Feel so good, so good, so good,” Lúcio is mumbling, a little delirious, pressing hot, suckling kisses against whatever patch of skin he can find. “My good boy. My good boy. Not gonna let you go ever again. Gonna keep you nice and safe. Put you in my damn pocket and carry you around.”
There’s white noise filling Gabriel’s head when he comes, thick pulses of come that shake him to the very core of his being, body shaking and uncoordinated but held nice and secure by his dominant’s arms and the ropes he put on him.
He feels so safe and loved.


