Okay, so I love your needy slutty Derek, but I also love your hairy, rude Derek. Any way we could have both of them in the same fic? Some universe trickery were they fuck each other?

they wouldn’t even have any moral hangups because rude!Derek is… well. rude, and slutty!Derek probably has been fantasizing of his own dick more than enough; when he’s all alone and no dick around but his own.

They’d be so shameless. Not even making sure they’re alone and out of the way. rude!Derek would slap slutty!Derek’s ass and tug at the fuzzy hair around his hole and slap his big, drooling cock so mean. Makes slutty!Derek howl and drool into the carpet because of course he wouldn’t fuck him in a bed. 

Before he gives him his cock, he’d absolutely make slutty!Derek beg for it like a good boy. Maybe kiss his asshole a few times and tongue at it until he feels magnanimous enough to shove him face down and deep dick him like he’s been gagging for.