Could you imagine everyone in Blackwatch being super chill about sex and masturbating? Like Gabe hanging out with Jack but halfway though he’s like ‘brb gotta rub one out’ and he just leaves, Jack thinks its a joke but Gabe comes back super relaxed. And Jesse offers to give his teamates a bj if they’re too tense

HELL YAH

Like everyone in Blackwatch – but only them. So everybody around is like ‘*confused smile*’ especially Jack who just laughs every time Reyes says shit like that but it gets progressively more nervous because they can just be talking about some random shit and suddenly Reyes grunts and stands and pats him on the shoulder; and he doesn’t even go to his own room. Just swaggers into Jack’s bathroom and jerks off into the toilet.

Half the time he doesn’t fucking close the door and Jack sits there in awkward silence listening to Gabriel grunt one out and having to imagine him standing there, legs in a military spread, arm braced against the wall above the toilet…

ugh.

and Jesse having a look around the plane or truck or whatever they’re in and snorting at those grim, nervous faces and is like ‘*takes off hat* *rolls up sleeves* who wants t’ get sucked?’

and they’re just like *relieved sigh* ‘god damn McCree I thought you’d never ask. Get your sloppy mouth over here’ 

‘woaaah there, pardner. my mouth isn’t sloppy.’

‘yeah I know it’s your ass. Weston told me he had to take sloppy seconds yesterday ‘cause you were too lazy to wash up after Reyes. Now get here.’

‘bossy bossy’