Ok like… I like the idea of a bit of a struggle in who’s going to top and someone else having more strength than me. I like to bottom but don’t give easily. But BDSM makes me uncomfortable as hell. I understand if others like it and I’m chill with it but me personally, it’s like the idea someone has that much power over another just turns me off really hard. Am I just confused on what BDSM is? I don’t like being tied down and I don’t like pain… I’m super confused.

really, you don’t need to have a name for what you like or don’t like. whether it’s BDSM or not is really arbitrary at that point. important is that you and your partner know what you both like and have an understanding about when enough is enough.

This whole labelling of practices etc is nice if you want to find something out on the internet about it but *shrugs* everybody has other definitions about anything under the sun. I can’t tell you ‘what BDSM is’ because another person would see a wholly different set of acts as ‘BDSM’.

just – you know what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t feel comfortable with and that is the most important point.