So I’ve got this OC I’ve been RPing for years, and he’s a big guy right – very tall, muscular & kinda chubby – and despite making it really obvious he’s a GIANT SUB, everyone I RP with assumes Big = Dom. Only one person figured it out right away. Do you think there’s a reason this persists? I love your stuff because generally, physical appearance doesn’t matter as much as personality. I’d love to know how I can make this more apparent in my writing what my OC prefers :p

this is quite difficult to answer, to be honest. I mean you kind of figured the reason out yourself. your OC is big, and people that are inclined to D/s (… and probably those not inclined to it, too), tend to want to feel small and overwhelmed by their partner (if they’re subs themselves) so big characters will be thought of as perfect for fulfilling that role.

As to how you can make it more apparent… that’s just the thing with kinks/sexual preferences. you can’t behave according to them 24/7. Just because someone likes watersports, they won’t be getting all interested and excited every time someone has to go to the restroom. Just because someone is gay, they won’t be all predatory in a changing room because they can’t keep it in their pants. you know what I mean?

Maybe in RP you should handle it as you would in RL. You talk to your RP partners before you play, I presume? Maybe just tell them flatout “by the way, he is very subby”. 

Or just built the misunderstanding into the RP itself. let him be blushy and uncomfortable and let him tell the other char that he would prefer it the other way round actually.

You get my drift?

At least that’s what I’m thinking, but I’m not the best at giving advice