Who pops Ganon’s cherry 👀👀👀 also that description of the guards being all leery and pervs is soooooo good…. i wonder what would jolt them into action and actually start approaching him? Maybe ganon’s a bit drunk and a little less scowl-y than normal (but moody ganon is best ganon so ¯_(ツ)_/¯)

oohhh mmmhh who takes his virginity… good question. I feel like all of Hyrule castle would just be super thirsty for the guy. Maybe even Zelda takes it? with women he’s just very adorably puppy submissive, and I feel like she’d be just the right mixture of sweet and rough with him.

and the guards def would try some shit when they bathe with him and he shows off all the glinting jewelry that’s very common in Gerudo desert. golden nipple piercings; a lighting yellow topaz in his belly button. very pretty.

but he’s rough and doesn’t know shit about good sexy times so he’d bite more than kiss and jerk them off with a way too tight grip but they get off on it anyway